


Not So Chaste

by PeetasAndHerondales



Category: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: Day 7, F/M, Oral Sex, Prompts in Panem, Religion, create your own adventure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-06
Updated: 2014-05-25
Packaged: 2017-12-07 15:16:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/749986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeetasAndHerondales/pseuds/PeetasAndHerondales
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet." -Saint Augustine (354 AD - 430 AD) Katniss falls for the seminarian Peeta Mellark. For the Round 3 Prompts in Panem Day 7 Challenge, "Create your own adventure."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Not So Chaste

**Author's Note:**

> This work of fiction involves religious connotations and has sexually explicit content. Please keep in mind that this is not meant to offend anyone. Special thanks to sub-josh on tumblr for the inspiration and suggestions, and as always, my wonderful beta, Court81981 for her amazing editing. Enjoy!

I stared up at the stained church windows forlornly. It was raining outside, and the numerous images on them appeared drenched with tears. I sighed, breathing in the faint scent of incense and old bibles. If I could put a taste to the scent, I would say that it was not much different from that of cinnamon applesauce, as strange as that may sound. I had always liked the odor of Catholic churches. I mean, they even  _smelled_ chaste.

I was not as pure as everyone presumed me to be. Sure, I got voted "Most Likely to Become a Nun," in seventh-grade parochial, but that had just been a game, and it was only because nobody else wanted to take the title. I was just too shy to turn it down in front of everybody. Over the years, I had come to the conclusion that the best way to ensure that your daughter remained a good Catholic was to  _not_  send her to Catholic school. But this only convinced my mother that I needed to go to church and  _pray_  about it so that I would stop doubting my faith.

And that's where I met Peeta Mellark, whose combed blond curls I was currently staring at as I knelt in the pew behind him, my hands clutched together in silent prayer. Peeta was the sweetest, most innocent and religiously devoted man I had ever met. In fact, he was the newest seminarian in town. I knew that it was silly and probably wrong to have a crush on him, but I couldn't help it. He would never notice me anyways.

If only I could remember that when I touched myself to obscene thoughts of him.

 _Peeta, Peeta, Peeta._ He was all I ever thought about nowadays. His soft hair, his cornflower blue eyes, his impossibly long eyelashes, his flushed cheeks and faint rosy lips. He was so kind and handsome and impossibly beautiful in every single way I could think of. I knew that I was infatuated; I hardly ever spoke to him. Moreover, I knew that I shouldn't like him, not only because he obviously wasn't interested since he had hardly ever spoken to me, but because he was training to become a priest. Yet as I watched him stand up to receive communion, I couldn't help but let my eyes drift down to his perfect ass as he headed towards the priest.  _Good lord, Katniss,_ I chastised myself as I continued watching him, captivated. His lips parted open slightly when Father Plutarch placed a wafer in his mouth, and his pink tongue slipped out for a millisecond to capture it. I had no idea why I was so fascinated by this, but I gulped when he came walking back after taking a sip of wine, his tight slacks hugging him in all the right places.  _Dear sweet baby Jesus, please help me stop thinking about Peeta Mellark's loins,_ I prayed as I watched his chiseled jaw move as he chewed, his palms pressed together in front of him.

It was useless, of course. There was no way I was ever going to step back into a confessional again in my life, not after the thoughts I kept having. I couldn't imagine myself telling Father Plutarch that I watched porn in hopes that I would find a Peeta Mellark look-alike. Besides, it wasn't like I was sorry, and it probably didn't count if I wasn't truly repentant of my actions. And I really wanted to know if he was blond all the way down, was that so bad?

"Katniss," Prim whispered in my ear as she nudged me.

I turned to me little sister in annoyance. "What?" I asked, tearing my eyes away from the crucifixion statue above the altar, where Jesus was gazing down at me sadly. I gulped.

"Are you coming?" she raised an eyebrow in question as our row stood up to receive communion.

"Oh, um yeah," I said hurriedly as I stood up. I gave Peeta Mellark one last look as I passed him, and I could've sworn I saw him wink at me. I blushed and looked away.

* * *

"See, this shit is why I'm an atheist," Johanna exclaimed at our lunch table the next day.

"Because you like condoms?" I asked, confused. I still couldn't believe that contraception wasn't allowed in the Catholic faith, and apparently everyone knew that except for me. I was sixteen for fuck's sake; I should know this stuff by now. I doubted anyone followed that rule, anyway.

"No, Brainless, because I don't have to feel guilty about not following some ridiculously strict rules," she scoffed. "I'm only going to this school because my parents are forcing me to."

"Well I don't think they're ridiculous; there's a reason for everything, Jo," Madge told her patiently. Everyone knew that Madge Undersee was a future nun; she was seriously planning on heading straight to a convent after finishing high school.

"Well  _I'm_ not having twelve kids," Delly said to her boyfriend, Thom, as she took a huge bite of her turkey sandwich, and we all laughed.

"I hope Finnick and I have children someday," Annie said dreamily, gazing at him as he sat at the table across from us, chattering animatedly.

"You don't even know him, Annie," Gale reminded her gently. "Maybe I could introduce you?"

"No!" she screeched in panic as we all snickered.

"Don't worry, Annie, I understand how you feel, except I don't want a whole litter of kids," I said.

"Maybe this is why the pope quit; he didn't want to deal with this kind of crap," Johanna said.

"That is  _not_ why Pope Benedict quit," I argued.

"Whatever, we're getting off topic. The point is that Annie wants Finn's dick, but she won't go after it because for some inane reason, she feels bad about wanting him, right? Just show up wearing nothing but a trench coat at his doorstep and you're all set. You'll never feel bad about wanting it once you get it," she said suggestively as Annie and I frowned at her.

Gale and Thom burst out laughing at this, and Delly and Madge shook their heads sadly. "Aww, cheer up, Annie, I'll put in a good word to him for you, 'cause I'm a good friend like that," Gale teased.

"Finnick Odair is a womanizer," Madge said disapprovingly. "It's not Annie's job to change him."

"But maybe he could decide to change for her," I said hopefully.

"Why should he change? I'm sure he wouldn't complain if he found out Annie wanted him," Thom argued.

"But I don't _just_  want to have sex with him," Annie whined.

"Then you can suck his dick too," Johanna said brashly as she bit into her plump, red apple.

"That's not what I meant!" she exclaimed exasperatedly, turning to me for help.

"Annie's right. She likes Finnick, but she wants him to like her too. She wants to stay with him so that they fall in love and get married someday." I explained.

"And then you would have sixty-nine kids," Johanna said casually as she took a swig of her Dr. Pepper.

Gale snorted. "That reminds me, Finn  _did_  mention wanting to get married and having a lot of kids one day," he turned to Annie.

"See? We're meant to be," Annie grinned. "And don't worry, Katniss, I'm sure you'll find someone else someday and you'll get married and have kids with him too."

"I don't want kids," I groaned.

"No one wants kids at this age, but you'll probably change your mind eventually," Delly pointed out as the bell rang, signaling the end of our lunch break. I sighed. If only they knew who I was  _really_ after.

* * *

"Hey, Katniss," Peeta said cordially the next day as he sat by me in youth group. I looked up from my Bible in surprise. We were supposed to be looking for our favorite quotes, but the only ones I kept reading were about wanton women.

"Peeta?" I asked stupidly, wondering if this was just another fantasy about him. I pinched myself, then instantly regretted it. Definitely real.

He smiled and gifted me with his beautiful azure gaze. I practically drooled. "So what do you think?" he asked.

"What?" I asked, suddenly realizing that he had been speaking, and I hadn't been paying attention.

He chuckled. "I said, would you like to come help set up the art exhibit tonight? I'm a tutor for some of the kids who submitted artwork, and I'm required to find helpers, but I mean, you don't have to if you're not interested, I can understand if…"

"Yes," I gasped out immediately before he could ramble any further. "I mean, yes, I would love to go help," I squealed eagerly, hardly believing that this was happening to me.

He grinned, a stray curl falling on his forehead. God, he was adorable. "Okay, but you have to dress up since it's a formal event. It starts at seven; you'll need to be there by six."

"Sounds great," I said cheerfully.

"All right, I'll see you later then?" he asked. I nodded and watched him walk away, nearly chastising myself as I stared at his perfect ass once more. I slammed my forehead against the palm of my hand. What the  _hell_ was I going to wear?

* * *

"You should go naked." Prim giggled as I threw all of my clothes out of the closet. I had nothing nice to wear. I glared at her.

"Not funny, Duck," I said.

"Sure it is," she continued. "I mean, I can hardly believe it. You're going out in  _public_. You never go out, much less for a charity event. And you're going to see  _Peeta Perfect Mellark_ , of all people. He's the dreamiest guy to ever exist. It's a pity he's a seminarian."

I frowned. "Prim, this isn't a date, I'm just going to help out at the art exhibit, and you're too young to think about boys," I chastised her. "And don't' talk about Peeta like that." I tossed a shirt on the floor in irritation.

She snickered. "Oh, and what about  _you_ , Katniss?" she challenged. "I've seen how you stare at him during church. You don't even pay attention because you're too busy drooling over him. I bet you have  _naughty_  thoughts about him, and he's going to become a  _priest,_ " she taunted.

I gaped. "Primrose Everdeen! Get out of here!" I threw some clothes at her, trying to mask my embarrassment for anger as my cheeks burned.

"Fine, I'll go get Mom, I bet she has something you can wear," she decided as she stood up.

"No way, don't tell Mom, I'll kill you!" I cried out in panic. My mother would probably dress me in an old lady skirt or something. "I'll just call Johanna," I said as I searched for my phone underneath the mountain of clothes piled up on the floor.

Prim shrugged. "Fine, suit yourself," she said as she left the room, probably to gossip with her twelve-year –old friends online.

* * *

"This painting is  _amazing,_ " I gasped as I stared at a beautiful sunset. "Did you do this?" I asked Peeta.

He grinned. "I sure did," he said proudly. "This was my contribution to the show," he explained as he walked me through the exhibit. We had just finished setting up all of the art work, and the guests would start arriving soon. Peeta had stopped to show me his own work, telling me about how the church was raising money for 'Food for the Poor.'

"So what does your painting mean? Why is it called  _The Death and Resurrection_?" I asked as I read the label.

"Ah, that's a good question. You know, my original idea was to paint the actual resurrection of Jesus, but if you look around, you'll see that it's been overdone." He pointed to the rest of the work, and sure enough, he was right. It was hardly surprising, considering the Easter festivities. "So I decided to do something a little different," he continued. "Every evening, I open my bedroom window before I go to bed and watch the sunset. And when I wake up, the window is still open, and I watch the sunrise. So then I wondered to myself, which one did Jesus see when he resurrected on the third day after his death? After some research, I came to the conclusion that he came back in time to see the sunset, which was convenient, because it happens to be my favorite."

"Why is it your favorite?" I asked.

"I just love the colors. That perfect combination of soft, muted orange only happens in the sky during sunset. It's not quite the same as the sunrise, you see. Sunsets are more vibrant due to the particles scattered around the sky. The sunrise doesn't have quite as many because they fall to the ground during the night. As a result, the sunrise has more of a faint yellow color, whereas the sunset has a warm, bold combination of red, yellow, and gold that creates my favorite shade of orange," he replied dreamily, his hands deep in his pockets.

"Wow," I breathed. "You really know a lot about sunsets. Were you also thinking about the metaphor between them and life and death?"

He nodded. "I'm doing a sunrise as well, but I'm calling that one  _The Transfiguration._ It would signify Jesus' rise to heaven, obviously. I think it is all about embracing your humanity. You have to live and die so that you can come back to life permanently. I just wasn't able to get that one finished on time for the show. As for Jesus' life and death, I believe he was buried at sunset and came back to life at sunset. I know it's not a very common teaching, but it's just based on some calculations that I've done independently." He shrugged. "Either way, some people will probably see it as just a sunset, and that's fine with me, it's a painting open to interpretation."

As he spoke to me, I watched him in dumbfounded admiration; he was so deep and thoughtful, and so eloquent with his words. And when he described something that he was passionate about, such as the sunset, his blue eyes would light up like a bright Sunday morning and dimples would appear on his rosy cheeks when he smiled. I sighed. He was so beautiful. I licked my lips. "Peeta, do you think anything can be forgiven?" I asked.

He turned to me in surprise and raised an eyebrow. "Well of course, Katniss. That's why Jesus lived and died for us. That's why the sun comes down every night and comes back up the next day. So that we can start fresh. Why do you ask?"

I blushed. "Um. I don't know. I was just wondering, I guess." I said flustered, my mind scrambling to find something else to say so that we could change the subject before I said too much. "I really liked everything that you explained to me. Do you have a favorite Bible verse based on that? I'm having trouble finding one for youth group," I said, biting my lip nervously.

He smiled. "Oh, yes. There's Matthew 17:2, " _He was transfigured before them, and his face shone like the sun, and his garments became white as light."_  And as he said this, I couldn't help but think that  _his_ face always lit up like the sun.

"Thanks, Peeta, I'll definitely use that one," I said gratefully.

"Anytime, Katniss. Let me know if you ever need help on something. Now I really have to go tend to the guests." He nodded towards the people who were now streaming in through the doors as he excused himself. After he left me alone to tend to other things, I was free to walk around aimlessly for the next few hours, admiring the paintings and sculptures with everyone else. I had also promised to help clean up for the night so that I could spend more time with Peeta.

"What's up, Brainless?" Johanna snuck up behind me, and I jumped.

"Jo! I thought you weren't coming!" I exclaimed.

She laughed. "Yeah, well I came here to look after you. I needed to see if that dress I let you borrow was being put to good use. Plus, I brought Annie with me." She pointed behind her, where Annie was chatting with Finnick a few feet away.

I gaped. "She's actually talking to him!"

Johanna grinned. "Yeah, well, it's all thanks to Madge and Gale, actually. They're working on a project with him for Abernathy's World Religions class, and they told him about Annie. I just gave her a ride here so that they could meet."

"Where is everybody else?" I asked. "I know Madge and Delly were helping set up with me, and I saw them earlier, but then I think Delly ran off with Thom."

She shrugged. "I don't know, probably around here somewhere. I asked Gale to bring me some punch. Oh, there they are!"

I looked up to see Madge and Gale approaching us from the drinks table, each holding two cups of punch. "Here you go, babe." Gale told Johanna as he handed her the drink. Johanna purred and kissed him on the lips. I nearly cringed. They would probably start making out any second now.

"Hey Katniss, I brought you some punch, I figured you might some," Madge said to me as she handed me one of the clear plastic cups in her hands.

"Oh, thank you, Madge, how sweet of you!" We decidedly ignored Gale and Jo, who were starting to get handsy even though they were in the middle of a church charity event.

"You're welcome. Do you want to look around with me?" she asked, and I nodded enthusiastically, relieved that I wouldn't have to spend the next few hours alone.

As we perused the exhibit, I kept an eye on Peeta. I saw how he bent down to double-knot his shoelaces after he nearly tripped on them once. I noticed that he didn't put any sugar in his iced tea when he went to the refreshment table. I overheard him discussing pastries with an old lady; in fact, women gathered around him all times, complementing his baking skills and his beautiful artwork. When I discovered that he had made the scrumptious cheese buns on the snack table, I ended up eating ten, and then was disappointed to find out that there were no more.

"You really liked those cheese buns," Madge chuckled as she suckled on a chocolate-covered strawberry a few hours later. It was nearly time to close the exhibit, and people were leaving and taking the last of the food.

"Yeah, and you couldn't stop eating strawberries," I countered as I flipped my braid back over my shoulder.

She shrugged. "Yeah, well they were delicious." She sucked on her fingers as if to prove her point.

"So were Peeta's cheese buns," I said.

"Did I hear someone say they liked my buns?" I flipped around to see Peeta approaching us, grinning.

"Oh, yes, they were a huge hit," I said before I could stop myself, and then blushed when I realized how that had sounded. It was  _him_ who had brought it up, though.

"You're a very gifted baker, Peeta," Madge said politely.

"Thank you, ladies. I'm glad you enjoyed them," he said modestly. "I came from a family of bakers, so I know quite a few things. Would you like to help me clean up here?" he asked, and we nodded as we got to work quickly.

That night, I got home late thinking about all of the new things that I had learned about Peeta Mellark. His favorite color was orange. He was a baker. He was a painter. He liked to sleep with the windows open. He never put sugar in his tea. And he always double-knotted his shoelaces. I dug my face into my pillow, knowing that he would never be mine and that he could never be. I touched myself again and again until I drifted off to sleep, holding back the tears.

* * *

I thought about what Peeta had said about forgiveness. I prayed on a rosary every night, just like my mother had taught me, begging God to help me get over my obsession with a forbidden man. I knew I wasn't allowed to masturbate either, but I did that too. Maybe I had to stop doing that first. I had to stop touching myself to fantasies of him and going through porn looking for his doppelganger. Perhaps getting rid of one vice would help me get through the others.

Only it didn't work. Months passed. I went to church. I tried to be as chaste as possible and stop admiring him from afar, but it was no use. I tried hard, but I failed often. And sometimes I could even swear that he noticed me too. Sometimes he winked at me, and when he met my eyes, he always smiled. It was as if he had no care in the world. One day he gave a touching speech about how he decided to become a priest, saying that he used to have a girlfriend until he realized that it wasn't the right path for him. He said that he felt the presence of the Lord calling him, and he ended up leaving his girlfriend to join a seminar. I would have been devastated if I had been that girlfriend. Not that I wasn't devastated already. All he ever talked about was serving Jesus, and all I ever thought about was sucking his dick (Peeta's, that is, not Jesus').

This wasn't right. I had to do something. Peeta was probably on a path to becoming a saint, for all I knew, and here I was having selfish, lustful thoughts about him. I knew what I had to do, but it took me a lot of courage to do it.

I went to confession. I didn't want to, but it was my last hope, and my best shot at redeeming myself. I was sure that Father Plutarch was probably used to hearing horny teenage girls going on about Peeta by now. Surely I couldn't be the only one. He was too damn attractive. I thought about this as I walked into church, turning left towards the room labeled _Confessional._ Our church didn't have a fancy confession box with curtains; this was simply a wooden door with an uncovered window that led to a small, carpeted room containing the confessional screen and a prayer bench on either side of it.

I walked into the confessional and got on my knees in front of the screen. I began with the sign of the cross, and told the priest that my last confession had been seven months ago. It was exactly the amount of time that Peeta had been in town, but I didn't add that. Instead, I recited the easiest sins first. How I always fought with Prim. How I sometimes cursed. How I always rolled my eyes at my parents when they told me to do something. And then I said other things. How I couldn't stop masturbating or watching porn. How I kept having inappropriate thoughts, even during mass. By then I knew that it was time for me to start mentioning Peeta.

"But I think the biggest struggle that I've been dealing with is a forbidden crush that I've had on someone," I began, my voice shaking. "He's the seminarian, Peeta Mellark. I know you probably get this a lot, since he's so attractive and everything. But I feel really guilty about it, and for good reason, too. Peeta has been nothing but kind and respectful towards me, and I keep having salacious thoughts about him. I keep wondering what he looks like naked. Sometimes I even wish that I could down on him. Sometimes I wish that he would go down on  _me._ " I was probably saying too much now, but I continued, the words stumbling out of mouth as I purged my sins out. "When we're at church, I keep wishing that he could just take me right then and there on that pew." I was crying now. God, I was such a horrible person.

"Are you crying?" I heard his concern first, and then his intrigue. He sounded young. He didn't sound like Father Plutarch. He  _wasn't_ Father Plutarch.

"Peeta?" I asked.

He opened the screen and stared at me, his blue eyes wide, and I almost died of mortification. We stared at each other in horrified silence for a few seconds. And then I felt defensive anger. "What are you doing here; you're not a priest yet!" I yelled furiously as I wiped my tears. "You weren't supposed to hear my sins!"

"K-Katniss, I didn't know, I'm so sorry, I can explain—" But by then I was standing up and heading towards the confessional door, wishing that the ground would just swallow me whole.

"Wait!" he shouted in desperation, and I turned around, remaining in the confessional with him as I left the door shut. He had left his side of the booth and was standing behind me now, with a pleading look in his eyes. He licked his lips tentatively. "I feel the same way about you." It was a nearly inaudible whisper, but I had heard it.

"What?" I asked, appalled.

"I know what you're thinking. What about all of those things that I said about being a Man of God? Well I tried, Katniss. I tried to forget about you. I tried to tell myself that this was just a trial, that the Lord was testing me, or that the devil was taunting me. But I couldn't stop thinking about your braid, or your gray eyes, or your smiles that are so hard to come by. I would hear you sing during church and dream about your voice every night. I've never felt like this about anyone before, and I never thought that I would." He paused to allow the weight of his words to sink in. "So I came here for the same reason that you did. To seek contrition. But then I remembered that Father Plutarch was sick and that he had cancelled confessions at the last minute, and that's why no one else was here." He was right. The church was empty save for us two, but I hadn't even thought about that until now.

"So then why did you stay?" I asked.

He shrugged. "I don't know. I wanted to pray, I guess. But then I wondered what it was like to be a priest, hearing people's sins every Saturday afternoon. I wondered if I would have to hear other priests and seminarians going through these same temptations. So I sat there and pretended, and then I realized that this isn't what I really wanted, after all. But then you came in, and when I heard your voice, I instantly recognized it. I thought about stopping you, but I was intrigued. And then I heard you mention me…"

"Stop," I snapped. "If you're going to mock me for saying that I wanted to go down on you—"

"No!" he cried out in alarm. "I would  _never_ mock you. I thought I was making that clear, but I guess not." He took a deep breath, gathering courage before continued. "Katniss, I kept thinking that I wanted to go down on  _you_ , right here in this confessional."

I was stunned. "I-I, wait, what?" My voice was small, and I began to wonder if I was hallucinating.

"You heard me. And after today, I'm no longer going back to the seminar. I'm breaking my vows, no matter what you decide." He then approached me with purpose, taking my face in his large hands and pressing his petal-soft lips firmly against mine. I held my breath in shock and closed my eyes as he tugged on my bottom lip gently before letting go. I gasped out loud as he then began to kiss my neck, lavishing it with his tongue while rubbing one hand across the expanse of my back and the other one gripping my ass under my skirt. I held on to his shoulders as he backed me up against the door. I felt the hard length his erection against my heated center, and I moaned when he moved his hand to knead my breasts over my white button-up shirt. I wanted him so much it hurt.

I pushed him back. "So you're going down on me?" I gasped out before I could stop myself. "Right here?"

He rubbed his neck, flustered, "Ah, well…I guess, if you want me to…" he trailed off, staring down at the carpet. My eyes drifted down as I saw the prominent bulge in his khaki pants, and when he glanced up at me, his blue eyes were dark with desire, my knees trembling under the weight of his gaze.

"You know how to do that?"

He chuckled. "I had a girlfriend before, Katniss."

Oh, right. I had conveniently forgotten about that. "And you're completely okay with us doing this here?" I pressed on, still unable to believe it.

"Well I don't think we have any other place to go, but now that you put that way…"

I cut him off with a kiss as I reeled him back in, wanting to feel his wonderful mouth against mine once more. He groaned as I fisted his collar, my overeager lips clashing awkwardly against his when I tried to move them. He stumbled back and tripped over the prayer bench as I fell on top of him, our teeth grinding painfully against each other's mouths from the sudden impact. "Ow!" we both cried out in unison as we landed on the carpet beside the benches.

"I'm sorry," I said as I pressed up a little, my face still inches away from his.

He shook his head, smiling. "It's okay, at least now we're in a perfect position to do what we were planning. Here, come sit on my chest."

I scooted forward and then sat on him with my legs sprawled open in front of him, unsure of how to follow his instructions. But he grinned wolfishly when I gave him the perfect view of my white cotton panties beneath my blue plaid skirt, and he reached up to stroke my thighs until they reached the waistband of my panties. Goosebumps erupted from my skin as he pulled them down slowly, his eyes taking in my newly exposed flesh until they were completely off.

"Jesus, Katniss," he groaned. "You're so wet." He took them in his fist, letting go of them when I spread my legs open wider and moved up to hover on top of him. He stared up at my pussy before I covered up his face up with it.

My knees straddled his head, clenching his ears as my legs trembled when I felt his mouth on me. He held on to my thighs tightly, kissing me over my folds chastely at first, then looking up at me with his heavenly blue eyes as one of his hands drifted up to grope my small breasts over my clothes. He inhaled deeply, and then I felt the first tentative lick of his tongue as he parted my folds, seeking my aching bundle of nerves. "Peeta!" I cried out.

"Shh, Katniss, we're in a church," he chastised me when I jumped up, as if I didn't know that already. He chuckled, and I shivered as I felt his hot breath on me. Bastard. I pulled his hand beneath my shirt, and he pushed it underneath my bra. I hissed when he teased my nipple with his thumb and forefinger at the same time that he captured my clit with his lips.

"You naughty Catholic schoolgirl," he said when I kept hovering above him every time he touched me. I settled back down and he licked up and down my labia as I began shifting my hips forward and backwards, reveling in the feeling of his tongue as it darted inside my entrance. My entire body quivered when his other hand squeezed my ass, his mouth speeding up its movements and adopting a pattern: lick, nibble, and suck. As I rotated my hips faster, I clasped his hair with both hands, messing up his perfectly combed blond curls.

I bit my lip hard when he moaned and twisted my nipple. "You taste so sweet, like cinnamon applesauce," he told me as he pulled me back, and I stopped. He looked at me questioningly.

"That's what I think churches smell like." I confessed to him.

"Well even better then." And then he dug back in and continued to feast upon me like I was his last supper. He hadn't lied when he said that he had done this before. Every single ministration was perfectly timed and orchestrated so that I couldn't accustom myself to it, and I found myself screaming and crying out his name despite his constant reprimands.

"Oh, sweet lord  _Jesus,_ " I prayed as he began fingering me with the hand that had been clutching my ass. He pumped his fingers in and out of me as he moved his tongue side to side over my nub.

His other palm continued to rub my erect nipples as my juices covered his face, dripping from the corners of his mouth and chin as I gripped at his chest. He sucked my swollen clit between his lips, flicking it gently with his tongue while his finger curled into a come-hither motion inside me and his other hand pinched my nipples hard. He pressed the tip of his tongue from top to bottom, in and around, out and in, pressing his tongue flat and then in between the crevice of my folds. As he did this, I kept grinding against him so that I almost felt his nose rub against my clit, and he kept fondling me everywhere he could. He drifted his hand down from my chest to tickle my stomach while he watched my reactions, entranced.

I couldn't take it anymore. I wouldn't last much longer with his altering speeds and motions, or his penetrating stare. He licked and explored me, my walls clenching at his supple tongue as he stroked me. He played with my clit, spelling words on it that should not be said out loud in a church, much less expressed in this manner. His fingers thrust in and out of me faster and faster, sucking my clit as deeply as he could until I began convulsing. I squeezed my thighs tighter around him as I came, a wave washing over me and drowning me in it. I felt my tremor expand from the tips of my toes to the ends of my fingers, my vision blaring white.

Afterwards, he proceeded to kiss the insides of my thighs before going back to my core until he had his fill, lapping up the rest of my arousal greedily. I breathed deeply in relief, and he pulled me up and made his way up my body with kisses, straddling my heated center on his lap so that I could feel his rigid cock. He blew hot air on my breasts when he pressed his mouth over the still-clothed mounds. He kissed my neck, biting it lightly with his tongue as he suckled on it, then teased and glided along the skin beneath my ear until reaching my lips, an electrifying jolt passing through me as our lips reunited. I kissed him back clumsily as his lips guided mine patiently until I granted his tongue permission into my mouth so that I could taste myself on him. I pulled his head closer and rubbed my hips against him desperately.

I couldn't get enough of him; I wanted  _more_. "We should stop." He warned me as he broke the kiss.

"But I haven't even seen you yet!" I whined, reaching down towards the button of his khakis.

He stopped me. "Later," he promised. "Not here, where we could get caught; we've already pushed our luck by spending too much time here."

He then helped me stand up and bent down to pick up my discarded panties, pressing them to his nose and inhaling them deeply. "I'm going to keep these if that's okay with you," he said as he shoved them into his pocket before I could reply.

"When are we doing this again?" I asked.

"Soon." He winked as he opened the door.

"Wait!" I pulled him back.

"What?" he asked.

"I have to know: are you blond all the way down?"

He chuckled. "Of course. But now I'm off to find a new vocation." And with that, he left.

But I knew that he would be back.


	2. Livin' on a Prayer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sequel to "Not So Chaste." Katniss discovers that she can do more than pray when she gets on her knees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- This work of fiction involves religious connotations and is rated MA for sexually explicit content. Please keep in mind that this is not meant to offend anyone. I own absolutely nothing. Enjoy!

It's been four months since my licentious encounter with Peeta Mellark. We have kept our relationship a secret since then, and it has definitely not been easy. I had never been in a relationship before, and being with a handsome ex-seminarian has brought out a possessive, feral side of me that I wasn't aware of having until now. Peeta was the talk of the town; everyone (and by everyone I mean gossipy old and young women) judged him one minute and whispered conspiringly about jumping his bones the next. Needless to say, I was anything but happy about this. The only advantage I had was that no one suspected me of being "the whore he must have left the Church for" when I scowled at them, because my smiles had always been hard to come by to begin with.

But that didn't stop me from being careless and jumping every needy bitch who tried to get his attention. For example, there was the time that Glimmer Gould stroked his bicep from behind the counter of Mellarks' Bakery, where Peeta had gone back to work with his parents until he found his new vocation. And the way she had eye-fucked him—oh God, I just wanted to skin her alive. But she hadn't stopped right there—oh no, she had more. She flirted with him ceaselessly and bent over the counter so that he had a clear view of her fake tits, twirling her overly-styled blonde locks with the hand that wasn't feeling him up.

No way was I putting up with that. I might have been a good girl before, but I sure wasn't like that now. I know it's not the Christian thing to curse like a sailor, fight with others, and fornicate with a seminarian. But Peeta Mellark was my downfall. So I can't exactly say that I was sorry when I grabbed Glimmer by the hair and smashed her face into the pristine glass counter of the bakery, allegedly ruining her "extremely expensive nose job" in the process.

Honestly, I think she should thank me. Her nose looks much better now, in my opinion. Of course, Peeta wasn't very pleased by my act of jealousy. His mother had kicked—and I mean literally kicked—me out of the bakery with a broom and screamed at me to never step foot her in her respectable business again. I hated that witch, anyway. I was only sorry about not being able to visit Peeta there anymore.

But I wasn't the only one who was guilty of such actions. In fact, Peeta was the same, if not worse. Once, when I went out hunting with my friends, Johanna and Gale, I had come back home laughing at something Gale had said, Johanna laughing hysterically alongside me, of course. But Peeta hadn't paid attention to that. He had been waiting for me on my back porch with a container of cheese buns in his hands, clenching his prominent jaw as he watched us approach.

"Hey Peeta, what are you doing here?" I asked as soon as I noticed him.

"I just thought I should bring you your favorite cheese buns, but I can see that you're busy. I'll go ahead and leave now," he replied curtly, shifting his darkened gaze between me and Gale.

"What? No, come and skin these rabbits with us!" Johanna offered, tossing them on our old wooden picnic table outside.

"I don't think Baker Boy here would want to get his hands filthy with animal guts," Gale smirked.

"I heard that," Peeta snapped.

"No, Peeta, he doesn't mean it—"

"It's fine, Katniss. I get it. You want to spend time with them. I'll just get out of your hair now." He turned around, taking the cheese buns with him as he walked into the kitchen through the door in the back porch.

"Peeta, you're being ridiculous!" I chased after him, not even waving Johanna and Gale goodbye as they walked away in the opposite direction.

"Whatever, Katniss."

"Why are you acting like this?"

This time, he turned and faced me as we found ourselves alone in the kitchen. "Has it ever occurred to you that I'm tired of keeping our relationship a secret? That while I may not care what people have been whispering about me, I care about what they have been saying about  _you?_ They think you're sleeping with Gale and betraying your friend Johanna."

I gaped it him in horror. "Wh-what? Do you seriously believe all of that bullshit, Peeta? Don't tell me that you're falling for idle small-town gossip now! I never saw you as the type. Of  _course_ I'm not two-timing you, and Gale would never do that to Johanna either; she would castrate him!"

He stared at me for a few seconds, trying to decide if he should ignore my last comment or not, before sighing and placing the tray of cheese buns gently on the table. "I'm sorry," he mumbled. "I just…I don't know what to make of my life anymore. It's like I'm stuck. I've been shunned by everyone in the community, even if they don't admit it." He looked up at me, his deep blue eyes shining with tears as they revealed all of his loneliness and hurt. I swear he looked like a freaking puppy sometimes. How could I be mad at him now?

"But Peeta," I began, "that doesn't mean that  _I_ have turned my back on you. I would  _never_ do that." I lifted my hand to stroke his cheek before deciding that that wasn't enough and pulled him close instead, hugging him tightly and twirling my fingers in his golden curls as he gripped my waist. "I love you, and I don't care what anyone else has to say about it. You're a wonderful man, Peeta. They're all wrong if they think that you're anything less now that you've changed your mind about your vocation."

"I love you too, Katniss. I'm crazy about you." He chuckled softly against my shoulder. "I dropped everything just to be with you. Maybe I should just stick to baking and painting landscapes for a living."

"Maybe you could own your own bakery one day," I said excitedly as I released him from our embrace. "Or… you could have your own gallery and be a famous painter! Maybe even both!"

He lifted his eyebrows and gaped at me in amusement. "A bakery decorated with paintings for sale, you mean?"

"Yes!"

He grinned. "Well…I suppose it could happen. Of course, I would need to save up some money for it, but in time I could…"

I launched my arms around his neck, cutting him off as I ravaged his lips, and he kissed me back enthusiastically. My lips molded against his in heated fervor, his hot breath mixing with mine, his heart beating so hard I could feel it thudding against my own pounding chest. "What was that for?" he asked breathlessly when we came up for air.

"You have no idea how much I want you, Peeta. How absolutely amazing you are. You're so incredible, and you don't even see it."

He smiled at me lovingly. "You're the same way, love. I don't think I've ever met anyone so deceivingly chaste yet sexy. Some may see you as pure, others as not pure enough. But for me you're perfect," he breathed in my ear.

His hand slipped down my waist to cup my bottom, squeezing and kneading as I moaned in approval. I pulled on his hair as I shoved my tongue into his mouth so that it could mate with his, a growl escaping from his throat at my sudden abrasiveness. He stumbled forward until my back hit the counter, and I lifted my legs to wrap them tightly around his waist, grinding hard against the prominent bulge in his jeans.

And that was the first day I went down on him.

I was salivating with desire. I had been taught to get on my knees for praying, but the rules in this game had been broken the minute he decided that priesthood wasn't his calling. And to me, this was a different sort of worshipping. I thought I was something of an expert on veneration, but this was an entirely new kind.

This time I made Peeta lean against the kitchen counter, and I kneeled down in front of him. He sucked in a breath when I lowered his zipper, looking up at him with half-lidded eyes, biting my lip in yearning and rubbing my thighs together as I scooted closer to him on my knees. I tugged down on the waistband of his jeans until they dropped to his ankles, leaving his long, hard cock straining only against his thin, white cotton boxers. I smiled deviously. He gulped.

"Katniss you don't have to…"

"I know. I want to." I wanted to see him so badly that I was dripping in anticipation. But he didn't know that, so I had to show him. And I was so close to getting what I wanted. I pulled down the confining cloth without hesitation, and I gasped when I took in the sight of his large, throbbing erection, a bead of pre-cum already leaking from the thick tip.

"Fuck." I'm not sure who said it, but a second later my mouth was engulfing him; I didn't even get halfway before he hit the back of my throat and I became precariously close to choking on his dick. "It's okay," Peeta said patiently when I popped him out of my mouth in panic, my fingernails digging into his muscular thighs.

"You're so big," I blurted out, wincing when I realized how cliché that sounded.

He chuckled. "Yes, I suppose I'm above average in that department," he winked teasingly. Bastard. "Try to use a little more tongue and not so much teeth," he added after a second.

My eyes widened. "I'm sorry, did I hurt you?" I had never done this before, but I figured he must have guessed that already. I mean, here I was trying to suck his dick and instead I nearly bit it off. That couldn't be good, could it?

"No, no, you're fine!"

I nodded and planted my eyes on his manhood again, this time taking it in my hand first. Katniss Everdeen did not give up, even if it was something as seemingly trivial as a blowjob. I began to stroke him, feeling the impossible smoothness of his skin coating the rigid heat beneath it, like silk over steel, smiling at him gratefully when he wrapped his own hand around mine in guidance. Apparently I hadn't been gripping hard enough, but I knew I was doing well when I noticed how his eyes rolled to the back of his head, how his head tilted backwards so that his glorious throat was exposed to me. I wanted to kiss every single inch of him.

This brought me back to my previous task as I twisted my hand back and forth around his angry red cock. It was intimidating, to say the least. But it was also a mouthwatering sight. I took my other hand and cupped his sac, making him jump when I grabbed it at the same time that I stuck my tongue out to lick the underside of his cock in one brazen sweep. He tasted a bit salty, and much like one would imagine a man's cock would taste, but I decided I liked it. So I experimented with it; I circled my tongue around the weeping tip, lapping up his even saltier pre-cum greedily. I couldn't get enough of him. He moaned and groaned in approval, tucking my hair behind my ear so that he could see me better.

I licked his cock from bottom to top, starting from the underside and working my way around his entire girth until I was ready to take him fully into my mouth again. This time, I braced myself as I carefully wrapped my mouth around him, and he moaned at the sight of it. I stopped when I felt him hit the back of my throat, working the rest of him with my hand, breathing loudly out through my nose. He gasped as I suckled him, and he cried out when I sucked in my cheeks so that my mouth was tight around him.

"K-Katniss, I think I'm gonna…" His voice was trembling and his knees were shaking, and I knew that he was close, so I popped him out of my mouth and stroked him. I licked the slit teasingly, flicking it with the tip of my tongue. He gripped my hair even harder, shooting hot molten desire to my already sodden center.

He tried to push me away to prevent me from swallowing his cum, but instead I stayed put, taking in as much as I could. It was an admirable attempt, but I soon realized it wouldn't be as easy as it seemed. It was too much, too fast.

He nearly choked me, but at least it was in the fun way.

It wasn't until I pulled away that I started coughing, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand as Peeta began to panic. "Katniss, are you okay? Oh gosh, I'm sorry, I tried to warn you, but you wouldn't pull away, and I couldn't stop—"

I burst out laughing, suddenly not being able to stop myself at the sight of a worried Peeta with his flaccid cock still hanging out, fussing over me while trying to pull his pants back up. It was just like him, really. He was caring and considerate even when stuck in a compromising position.

"What's so funny?" His genuine perplexity sent me into another fit of laughter.

"You," I answered as he helped me back up, zipping up his jeans quickly while I dusted my knees. If anyone asked, I had been polishing the floors. Then again, my clothes had already been dirty from hunting outside, so I would have to change anyway.

He blushed. "Oh…right." He scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "So…do you want to come to the five thirty Mass with me? I heard they had a folk choir."

I raised my eyebrow at him. "I just got on my knees in front of you and you want to go to church?"

He smirked. "Yeah…I guess I get off on it."

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you were a shameless pervert."

He grinned.

…

It turned out that Peeta's brother, Rye, was now part of the choir, and he knew how to play guitar. Peeta sang along enthusiastically, although slightly off-key in comparison to his older brother. He squeezed my hand every time he heard me sing too, and I smiled at him shyly. I didn't care if people were watching us. We had a good time, and after the service was over, he introduced me to the band. Rye was the lead singer and guitar player, Leven played the cello, and their father, Bannock Mellark, played the violin. How had I never noticed this before?

"Katniss, meet my older brothers, Leven and Rye. You already know my father, right? You've seen him at the bakery before."

"We see each other all the time," Mr. Mellark winked at me as he put away his violin. I flushed; he had almost caught me making out with Peeta in the back of the bakery once.

"Yes, of course, and it's nice to meet you guys finally!" I said as I shook their hands. Leven seemed to be in his thirties; he was broader and taller than Peeta, and Rye was in his late twenties, taller and leaner than his two brothers.

"So you finally got the girl," Rye smirked at Peeta.

"What?" I glanced at Peeta, confused.

He blushed, rubbing the back of his neck anxiously. "Uh, yeah, about that…"

"Peeta has been telling us a lot about you," Bannock explained, grinning. "We knew that as soon as he saw you, he wouldn't make it as a priest."

"Or as a musician," Leven piped up. "He can't sing or play an instrument to save his life. Or at least not the way he used to stare you during church; he couldn't concentrate on anything."

"Yeah, sorry I couldn't join Mellark and Sons… I tried  _really_ hard to learn how to play  _Livin' on a Prayer,_ on the piano, though."

"Is that what the band is called?" I asked.

"Yes," all four Mellark men said simultaneously.

"Oh, cool! Well… I guess we better get going. It was nice to meet all of you!" I said awkwardly as they waved good-bye to us, Peeta leading me to the back. His father and brothers shared amused looks.

"Where are we going?" I hissed at him as we headed towards a partially hidden doorway behind the altar. "And that was so awkward, oh my god."

"You're fine." He waved me off as he shoved me in front of him inside the room before closing the door behind us. I looked up. In front of me was mini altar with the crucifixion and a statue of the Virgin Mary below it. There were a few prayer benches in front of it, and statues of saints and candles surrounding the room. We were in the chapel.

"I reserved it for us so that we could have adoration together," he said before I could ask. The suggestive smile he was giving me gave me the feeling that he hadn't brought his rosary, and that this had nothing to do with praying to the Virgin Mary.

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Do you want me to pray for your soul or mine? Or both? I think at this point, we're both going to hell," I teased him.

"Don't say that. And I haven't even told you what we're going to do yet."

"Well I don't see you getting on your knees and praying."

"We're having a  _different_  sort of adoration."

"I figured we weren't actually here to redeem ourselves."

"I could never be sorry for choosing you," he said softly, his breath inches from my waiting lips. "I would go to Hell and back for you." His celestial blue gaze was penetrating, piercing my soul like a knife. "I would give up Heaven. I would follow you into the dark," he mused, referencing one of our favorite songs, his cool fingertips tracing my cheek gently.

"That can't be love," I whispered.

"Maybe it's desire."

"I think it's our downfall."

He kissed me then, and I knew then that I didn't care if I was damned. I reveled in it. He and I had spiraled down so fast I could barely breathe. He sucked on my tongue as we relied heavily on our noses to provide air so that the only noises filling the room were our heavy breaths and the wet smacking of lips. He pulled me against him and lowered us down to the ground until he was laying on top of me beside the prayer benches, putting us in a very similar situation to the one we were in four months ago, when he went down on me. I wondered if this was taboo or simply bad manners. Maybe it was blasphemy. It occurred to me that if we were married it would actually be kind of cute and romantic, but my thoughts evaporated as soon as I felt his hard length against my stomach.

The sad thing was that both of us knew better and neither of us cared.

"Peeta," I gasped after a few breathless moments, my hands clutching his muscular, broad back.

"Yes?" he mumbled as he lavished my neck.

"Um, we're not actually going to have sex here, are we?"

He looked up at me in surprise. "What?"

"Well, it's just that I'm not sure why you brought me here… we could just as easily make out in my room, you know. Nobody's home at this hour. Plus I'm a virgin and I've never done this before…"

"Shh, stop," he said gently, kissing my lips so that I would shush. "I know that, and we're not doing anything you don't want to do." He ran his fingers through my loose tendrils of hair that I had released from my braid today. Peeta seemed mesmerized by it. "I just…I just wanted to be with you, Katniss."

"Here?" I asked doubtfully.

"It actually  _was_ my turn to do adoration today…" he paused. "But I guess the naughty side of me wanted to bring you here as my temptress," he joked.

I rolled my eyes. "Right, look who's talking. Devil on my shoulder! I would be more afraid of being damned if I wasn't so horny."

He laughed, throwing his head back and then rolling down to lay beside me. "If you ask me, I think we still have hope," he said a little more seriously after he had calmed down. The way he was looking at me made me realize that this was more than desire that he felt for me. And I would have been more intimidated by it if I didn't care about him so deeply.

"Hope," I echoed.

"It's the only thing strong than fear," he finished.

He leaned in to kiss me again, and this time, I let his hands wander. He cupped my breasts, which fit perfectly in his hands, and kneaded them expertly, pinching the tips and blowing hot air into them over my shirt. They would fit perfectly into his mouth too. I squirmed beneath him so that I could unbutton my shirt, shrugging it off and then reaching behind me to unclasp my bra.

"Oh God, Katniss," Peeta choked out as he took in the sight of my bare breasts, nipples pebbled from the air conditioning and my desperate arousal.

He thumbed them, squeezed them and pinched them before finally putting them in his mouth, rotating from one to the other as if he couldn't decide which one he wanted to lavish first. The rough calluses on his fingers and the hot moisture on his tongue made the heat inside me spread like lava, from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. I arched my back and pulled his head into my chest as my hands pulled on his lush blond curls. He moaned into my breast, the vibration from his mouth provoking even more desire as he twirled and suckled the nipple with his eager tongue. Meanwhile, one of his hands stimulated my other breast, while his other hand...oh my god, he was reaching underneath my skirt…

"Jesus!" I let out a tiny squeal as he found my clit, rubbing it over my underwear in tandem with the circular motions he was doing with his opposite hand. I bit my lip to keep from screaming as I became overwhelmed with desire. I was going to explode. "Faster," I gasped out as he increased the pace, switching breasts so that he was suckling on the one the he had been previously groping. His fingers circled harder against my throbbing center as he pushed my underwear aside, his thumb pressing on my needy bundle of nerves while two of his fingers dipped into my drenched folds.

"You're so wet and ready to come for me," he growled, his hot breath tickling my ear.

"Peetaaaa…" I gasped out, and he used the hand that wasn't in my panties to cover my mouth and muffle the sound.

I felt the sweet, burning release of a hot wire uncoil underneath my belly, stars exploding behind my eyelids as my eyes rolled back in pleasure. I rode his hand through my orgasm, his fingers curling deep inside me and his thumb slowly rotating on the nub above it until I became too sensitive and pushed his hand away impatiently. He took his hand out and licked his fingers, grinning salaciously at me.

But before I could formulate a response or even a reaction, we suddenly heard footsteps thudding out across the hall, heading directly towards the chapel. Peeta's eyes widened and I quickly shoved him aside as he handed me my bra and button-down shirt so that I could toss it on before they saw me half naked in the chapel. "Hurry," Peeta whispered as he helped me back up.

I finished buttoning my shirt as soon as Rye walked in, his eyes widening in amusement at the sight of us. "Are you two finished praying? I think heard someone moaning the name of Jesus." he snorted, looking at us up and down. "By the way, Katniss, your shirt is buttoned wrong."

"Shove it, Rye," Peeta said threateningly.

"I'm sure  _you_  did, little bro. I always knew you were a kinky bastard. And in a chapel, no less!"

Peeta glared at him as I blushed, looking down at my shirt and noticing that the bottom hole was empty and one side was longer than the other. I was a complete disaster."Are you done making fun of us?" Peeta said tightly.

"Are you two done screwing in the house of God? I just came here to say a little prayer before I headed home. Pay respects to the Virgin, you know?" he winked at me as he said this.

I couldn't be blushing harder if I tried; I might as well be on fire. Katniss Everdeen, the girl on fire. Maybe that would be nickname when I went to hell.

"Shut up, Rye, you never pray. You were spying on us!" Peeta accused.

"Aw, don't worry, Peet, I won't tell anyone!"

"I think I better head home," I said softly.

"I'll take you," Peeta offered as he took my hand.

"You take her home and make her yours," Rye winked as we headed out. Peeta tightened his grip on me. I gave Peeta a warning look. I refused to give Rye the upper hand. So what if he knew that we had messed around in a church? We were living on a prayer. And we would get on our knees to do more than just pray.

_**To Be Continued…** _

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- The first part of this was intended to be just a one-shot for Prompts in Panem in March. However, I felt like there was more to the story, so I continued it and decided to donate part two to F4LLS. I hope you all enjoyed it! The third part will probably be released in February and will be donated to Smut2SaveLives. Thank you for reading, and as always, special thanks to my amazing beta, Court81981, for being the absolute best and always helping me. This donation wouldn't be the same without her!


	3. Surrender to Passion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- Hey guys, so this is the *final* installment of the series! This last piece takes place a few years later, so it's actually kind of like an epilogue. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it!

_**Five Years Later** _

The nightmares came without a warning. They began on the night that we got engaged. Peeta had taken me home that day; he had left me with a sweet goodnight kiss on my forehead as he held me outside the door of my apartment. I went to bed that night thinking of him, thinking that he was all I would ever need in life and the only one I needed to trust and rely on. No one's arms had ever made me feel this safe before, not even my father's, and everyone who knew Katniss Everdeen knew that she was a Daddy's girl. I didn't like the title, but it was true.

That night, I dreamt that I was swimming in the ocean at night. It was a peaceful dream at first; it reminded me of the time that my father taught me how to swim in the lake when I was a little girl. But then things changed. My limbs felt heavy, and I couldn't swim. My feet couldn't touch the ground, so I began to sink into the dark blue depths. Fear surrounded me everywhere I turned. I was blind and couldn't see; I tried to thrash around but I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't  _think_ , and all I could think of was the cold- it was so cold, and I knew I was dying as a silent scream escaped from my mouth…

I woke up in Peeta's arms. I didn't know how, or why, but I was drenched in tears and sweat as I screamed and trembled in absolute terror. "Shh, it's okay. It was just a dream. You're safe," Peeta whispered soothingly in my ear as he wrapped me in his arms, rubbing my back up and down in comfort.

I tried to steady my breath as I clung to his t-shirt, inhaling the cinnamon and dill scent that was so inherently Peeta. "H-how did you get here?" I finally managed to ask after I had calmed down some. I looked up at him curiously as his deep blue eyes gazed down at me worriedly— _it was that same deep blue that I kept drowning in—_ before he replied.

"I used the key you gave me to get into your apartment," he admitted a bit bashfully. "I couldn't sleep, so I thought I could pay you a surprise midnight visit." He chuckled. "I'm glad I was here when I heard you screaming, though. I figured you were hurt, so I just came in and found you thrashing and crying in your sleep…" he paused. "I'm sorry; I should have just asked to spend the night to begin with. I mean, we just got engaged."

I shook my head and smiled before looking at him seriously. "I'm glad you were here too. Thank you for waking me up."

He tucked a stray hair behind my ear. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay," he said softly.

"Will you stay?" I croaked out.

"Always," he promised as he lay down beside me while I rested my head on his chest.  _No one's arms have ever made me feel this safe._ It was the last thought I had before sleep consumed me.

The nightmares only came back when I didn't sleep in his embrace.

Time passed and we got caught up in wedding plans and work and social events. Winter turned into summer, and summer became fall. And before we knew it, it was our wedding day.

Peeta and I married five years after we first met. It had been difficult at first, coming out to everyone about our relationship and letting them get used to the idea of us. But it had never been about them, or what people had to say. It had always been about us. Peeta proclaimed that everything happened for a reason and that his true calling was running the bakery and being my husband. Once his father had entitled the bakery to him, he had started setting up his paintings and selling them there. They were a huge hit, but then again, so were his cheese buns. All of our friends came, and by then Delly and Thom had had a baby, Madge had started living at a convent, Johanna and Gale had broken up, and Finnick and Annie had already been married.

Of course, I still hated my mother-in-law. But the rest of the Mellarks welcomed me warmly into the family, and my parents cried tears of joy. My sister, Prim, was the Maid of Honor, while Rye was Peeta's best man. And yes, he still teased us about having sex in public, or more specifically, in religious places. Some couples don't even make it to the reception.

Well, we didn't make it to the ceremony.

"OK, Katniss, you're all done!" Prim clapped enthusiastically as she finished helping get into my dress while my mother made sure my hair was well pinned. "Cinna designed you such a beautiful dress!"

"He did indeed. I told you he was the best designer in town." Madge said as the other bridesmaids agreed,  _ooh-ing_  and  _ahh-ing_  at it.

"Yes, you were right, thanks Madge." I smiled at her and then gazed nervously at the mirror. The gown was astounding. My makeup and hair were perfect. I was overwhelmed and dying to see my soon-to-be husband.

"Well you look absolutely beautiful, my dear. What do you think?" my mother asked me as she took a step back and appraised me, tears of joy gleaming from the corners of her pale blue eyes.

"You look lovely, Katniss!" Annie said.

"Peeta's not gonna make it through the ceremony without getting hard," I heard Johanna mutter under her breath.

I gulped. My heart was pounding in my chest. "Um, I think I need a minute alone if that's okay," I told everyone in the bridal room.

"Alright, dear, let me just give you my blessing," my mother said as everyone else shuffled out of the room. She hugged me tightly. "I'm so proud of you, Katniss. Peeta is such a good man, and I know he will treat you right. You're going to be a wonderful wife. I know you will do the right thing," she said softly as she then looked directly into my eyes, clasping my hands tightly.

The urgency in her gaze and tone caught me off guard. What did she mean by that? Was she trying to say- that I had messed up and that this would fix things? I didn't even know what to say to that. "Thanks, Mom, I love you," I said honestly.

"I love you too, my lovely, brave daughter." Oh no, she was crying again. "Your father will wait for you when you're all done here," she said as she left the room, closing the door softly behind her.

I released a breath I didn't realize I had been holding. I wasn't even sure what it was that I needed to get done. Maybe I just needed to take it all in. But I didn't have much time to ponder it for long, since I heard a soft knock on the door, and I turned around to see Peeta opening the door.

"Katniss?" he asked as he stepped in, the soles of his black dress shoes silent against the plush red carpet.

"Peeta, what are you doing here?" I hissed in alarm. "You're supposed to wait for me by the altar; it's bad luck to see the bride before the ceremony!"

He chuckled. "You don't really believe that, do you?"

"Peeta…"

"You look absolutely beautiful," he interrupted as he ran up to me and took me into his arms. I didn't realize how devastatingly handsome he looked until I had him up close. Before I knew it, we were kissing frantically, his lips clashing into mine, his tongue seeking entrance to my mouth. This man was going to be the end of me.

"Peeta, we should stop. We're supposed to be getting married soon." I gasped out as soon as we paused for breath.

"I don't know if I can wait until the honeymoon," he growled into my ear as he squeezed my ass, pressing me closer so that I could feel his erection.

I shivered. "I know, but we have to…" I bit my lip.

"Couldn't we just mess around a little?" he pouted.

Ugh, that stupid puppy-eyed look. "Fine," I huffed. "Just don't ruin my dress. We have like, ten minutes."

I didn't need to tell him twice.

He got down on his knees, and before I knew it, he had slid under my dress. "Peeta, what the heck…" I laughed as I stumbled down on a chair, and then gasped and covered my mouth as I felt his hands creep up my thighs and pull my panties to the side. I knew what was coming next, but I still released a guttural moan when I felt his warm, moist tongue trail up my folds.

"Ugh, Peetaaaaa…"

"Shh," I felt him more than heard him say when I felt his hot breath against my sensitive flesh.

I clenched my thighs and trapped his head in between my legs as he continued to lap his tongue up and down my labia, so close yet not close enough to where I wanted him at. My eyes rolled to the back of my head as the heady pleasure began to surge, and I felt his tongue circle teasingly around the kernel of nerves that was aching for attention. But instead his tongue went farther south, making my hips buckle slightly when he slithered his tongue inside my entrance. Meanwhile, his large, callused hands were massaging my thighs so that I was full of friction and heat and eagerness. I wanted him now, but I knew that we didn't have much time.

Finally, after what seemed like an endless amount of teasing, his tongue glided up to my clit, his lips trapping it as he sucked it with fervor. It was like an uncontrollable craving to him, or at least that was what he had told me on one of the many nights in which I had woken up in the middle of the night with his mouth in between my legs. And, while right now was not the most convenient of times, today was no exception. His lustful oral fixation was making me see stars as he suckled even harder, my thighs clenching him even tighter as I felt my release approach closer and closer. I hissed as I felt his teeth graze lightly at my core and then as his tongue flicked my needy clit soothingly. I squeezed my breasts over my dress as I came, no longer caring that he was ruining my underwear or that his hair would be a mess by the time we were done.

Somehow, the knowledge that our flushed faces would give us away spurred me on, and soon I was biting my lip to keep from crying out as the pleasure and relief overtook me, making my legs tremble a few times before they released him. Peeta simply licked away at my arousal as if he had all the time in the world. I knew that I still needed to use the restroom to clean up properly, which was normally a task that I could do on my own, but due to the circumstances of my dress, I would need help from somebody just getting in there.

Suddenly, we heard a loud, sharp knock on the door, and Peeta and I jumped in surprise. "Hello? Katniss, are you almost ready? It's time for the ceremony. Father Plutarch is already complaining about the tight schedule," we heard my father's voice say from the other side of the door.

"Yes, Dad, I'm almost ready!" I shouted in response, trying desperately not to panic.

"Crap, I need to get out of here," Peeta whispered as he stumbled up out of my dress and ran his hands through his hair, combing the unruly curls back into their formerly tidy state.

"Quick, go through this door!" I hissed at him as I led him towards the back entrance of the room, which led outside. "Go around the back of the church and walk in through the front door…I'll meet you in the altar." I gave him a quick, chaste kiss—the tangy taste of my arousal still lingering on his soft lips—and pushed him out the door before we got caught.

I then ran back and opened the other door, where my father was waiting for me. "Hey honey, are you alright?" my father asked in concern as he took in my flushed face.

"Yeah, um, I just need to use the restroom before we start," I said quickly as I looked for my little sister and my mom so that they could help me out with my dress. Their expressions showed concern and understanding when I asked for their help, and Prim startled rambling on about how I was such a typical bride by making everyone wait.

"Geez, Katniss, you've been peeing for like, 84 years. Will you hurry up already?" she groaned as she waited for me to finish.

"Yeah, calm your tits, it's my freaking wedding. I mean, it's not like I'm gonna miss anything." I shot back.

"Girls, please don't argue right now; we're still in church," my mother pleaded as I washed my hands.

"Okay, let's get this show on the road," I said as we hurried out of the restroom.

"Hey, there's the bride! Katniss, come on, Peeta's already waiting for you!" Madge exclaimed when she saw us.

"Ready?" my father asked as he held out his arm for me to take.

"Almost," I responded as the bridesmaids and groomsmen got into their places and started walking while the wedding march played in the background. They went up in pairs towards the altar until it was finally my turn. "Alright, let's go," I finally breathed out.

My father nodded, and we began marching forward, my heart beating fast so that I could barely focus on my surroundings. Everything in my peripheral vision was a blur until my eyes landed on Peeta, who was waiting patiently at the altar. He looked at me like a groom looks at his bride for the first time, just as I expected him to, as if he hadn't just gone down on me ten minutes ago. He took my breath away. That bastard.

But it wasn't so much the novelty of seeing him as much as the gravity of the situation, of the fact that he was standing at the altar and _that were about to get married_ that really caught me. It wasn't until my father let go of my arm and handed me off to Peeta that reality sank in and I fully realized that  _ohmygoodness I'm about to be Peeta Mellark's wife._

I was nervous the whole time, but Peeta squeezed my shaking hands and gave me that sun-rising loving smile every time he looked at me. I couldn't really focus on anything except for him. My heart burst when we exchanged vows and he promised to love and protect me for the rest of his life as he slid the ring into my finger. I did the same for him as I looked straight into his mesmerizing blue eyes, because that's what we did,  _protect each other._ We kissed for the first time as husband and wife, and everybody around us clapped and cheered in the background. I loved this man so much that tears threatened to spill from the corner of my eyes. We kissed so passionately that Father Plutarch had to split us up. I finally felt like everything in the world had been set right.

And Peeta would stay with me.

Always.

Once we were married, we could have sex anywhere we wanted. Peeta said that God would totally reserve a room for us in His house, but part of me wondered if he was joking. We weren't a couple of teenagers anymore, but then again, he  _had_ gone down on me right before our wedding ceremony. The reception was just as full of anticipation for us; we couldn't keep our hands off of each other, and it was obvious to everyone around us by the constant catcalls and wolf-whistles. We had fun dancing at our wedding—Peeta even jokingly pole-danced to Ginuwine's "Pony" at one point, and I put a dollar in the waistband of his trousers—but our honeymoon couldn't have come faster. Anyone who caught sight of us might have instantly assumed that we were two crazed sex-addicts.

"Fuck Peeta, you made me wet when you pole-danced to that song," I growled as I climbed on top of his lap while we rode in the limo that was taking us to the airport. I ground my hips against his, feeling his hardness against me as I bunched up my dress. Thankfully, I had changed out of my wedding dress earlier; otherwise it would have been cumbersome to do this. "I don't think we're gonna make it to the airport, or even to the damn hotel room. I want you now," I gasped urgently into his ear.

"Damn it, Katniss, you're so fucking sexy when you talk dirty to me. Go ahead and ride me, baby. We've got all night."

He didn't have to tell me twice.

I didn't even bother to pull off my underwear, instead shoving the flimsy lace to the side as he unbuckled his belt and pulled down his zipper, allowing me to take his cock out of his boxers so that I could rub it against my dripping folds. We moaned in unison as I placed his tip at my entrance, slowly descending until he was fully sheathed inside me. The feeling of his hot, rigid length inside me made my walls clench greedily against him, and my hips began to rise and fall as I held on to his shoulders. He gripped my ass between both hands and held me steady as he we kissed desperately. I increased the pace so much that my thighs began to burn, and he growled and moaned against my throat as our tongues battled and clashed for dominance; no crevice of his mouth or mine went undiscovered. I moaned and whimpered as I felt the tingling, burning ache in my core. He felt so good inside me that I didn't want this to end. I rode him hard and fast, bouncing on his lap as one of his hands groped my breast eagerly.

We came nearly at the same time that we arrived to the airport. Peeta knew that we were running out of time, so he began rubbing rapid circles against my swollen clit until I could no longer stand it; my release came so suddenly that I nearly fell out of his lap. A wave of relief washed over me at the same that Peeta came and spilled his hot seed inside me, fluids dripping down my thighs.

"Ugh, we made a mess," I laughed as he handed me some tissues so that I could clean myself up as best as I could before we had to exit the vehicle. Our chauffeur opened the door just as soon as we had composed ourselves. We gave him apologetic but guilty looks as we stepped outside; it was obvious by the redness of our cheeks and our disheveled state that we had been fucking in the limo. But the man simply shook his head and chuckled. "Have fun, you two!" he said.

As if we hadn't already.

"Thanks, Caesar," Peeta said as he handed him a generous tip while someone else came and took our luggage.

"So where are we going?" I asked Peeta as we walked into the airport. He had decided to keep our honeymoon a surprise until the last minute, and I couldn't wait to find out what it was.

"To the stars," Peeta announced dramatically.

I laughed. "No, seriously, tell me!"

Peeta winked at me. "We're going to travel the world."

We spent the first official night of our honeymoon in Paris. Peeta was playing stripper and throwing his clothes at me as I laughed and cheered him on from the bed of our luxurious hotel room. He was, once again, singing along to  _Pony._

"If you're horny, let's do it! Ride it, my pony! My saddle's waiting, come and jump on it!" he sang as he thrust his hips at me.

I threw my pillow at him as he pulled down his suspenders, which were only attached to his boxers. "Come over here and make love to me already," I demanded.

He laughed. "Yes dear," he grinned as he jumped up on the bed beside me. "I love you, I love you, I love you, ugh I'm gonna  _devour_ you with kisses," he said playfully, his voice muffled as his mouth went descended down my neck.

I giggled as he took me in his arms, feeling blissfully, deliriously, happy. "I love you too, Peeta. Remember when we first met? I never thought that this would happen. Not in a million years."

He sighed. "Katniss, listen to me. I've loved you all along. And I'm not saying that I regret making any decision before I met you, because everything I did brought me to you, to this moment right here, right now. You  _are_ my dream, my gift…my wife."

"My mother said that she trusted me to the right thing, as if I had messed up somehow, or led us astray. Sometimes I wonder what she meant by that, and what that could mean for us now," I whispered.

Peeta frowned. "I think sometimes we need to remember to love the giver more than the gift. Listen to me; you're not your past, okay? And I'm not my past either. What's done is done, and this is our new beginning. We need to be grateful, and Katniss Mellark, I am eternally grateful for you. This can't be a mistake if I had to get lost to find you. You're always loved, and you will always be enough. "

I wasn't good with words, so I didn't know how to respond to my husband other than with actions. He was mine, and I was his. I kissed him with everything that I had as tears streamed down my face, tears of happiness and joy and love. I let him hover above me gently, felt his kisses take their time to worship my body, and then I his. I parted my legs to allow him inside me, to feel that connection that we would always have. Then, as he moved inside me, as he gazed down at me, lovingly, I knew. I wasn't prudent, but I was pure. For him, I was perfect. He was my dandelion in the spring, the yellow that meant rebirth, the reminder that no matter how bad our losses, things could be good again. He was my hope, and he had saved me.

_**The End.** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- As always, I would like to thank my lovely readers, and my usual accomplices, sponsormusings and court81981. I still don't know how everybody puts up with me, but here I am! I am also really grateful to streetlightlove for allowing us all to contribute to S2SL. I couldn't think of a better reason to write smut;)


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